Ok, enough…
Stop freaking out. Bitcoin is without doubt the best asset that money can buy.
Real estate? Liquidity trap with huge bid offer spread, and ongoing bleed through maintenance and taxes.
Gold? Absolutely impossible to trade efficiently in the actual asset - get robbed everywhere: transportation, smelting, and broker fees enormous. Plus completely impractical to carry around.
Equities? A crap shoot. If you can invest in good allocators then sure, but unless you are a great trader then buy an index fund and underperform the real rate of debasement.
Bonds? Joke
Venture? Be lucky
Lottery? At least you’re honest at this point.
Just buy bitcoin. It’s 10x better than gold, but trades at a 95% discount to gold.
Be grateful that you discovered it early and stop moaning that it’s so cheap!