1.$SHORTCOIN
Abub8cRJviGWsv1qWjkR1wHqNdYjRenoaZxroFxbpump
A contrarian investment token centered on financial shorting
Contract includes forced burn mechanism: 15% transaction tax fuels a reverse liquidity pool that automatically shorts major cryptocurrencies when BTC prices drop
Anonymous developers claim ties to Three Arrows Capital (3AC) creditors, with leaked chat logs revealing dark pool operations shorting Tesla stock
2.$COPE
h86Z6FfsvR3X1siqXaPbwaSxHm5aeGF35k6Qp8rpump
Humor-themed token focused on psychological coping mechanisms, 20% transaction tax funds NFT mints of copyrighted Reddit breakdown posts
Contract embeds a "Holder Mental Collapse Index": When panic levels exceed 50%, holders receive antidepressant ad coupons
Musk's ex-girlfriend Grimes tweeted "Web3 chicken soup" before deletion
3.$ALONE
5cQtbxhPTVQJVKKiQazpmQpSZzEJaZ86F55sFpYvpump
Targets the loneliness economy: Users gain "social isolation multipliers" for holding tokens over 24 hours without trading
30% transaction tax buys Tinder ads promoting anti-social manifestos
Community uses tax funds to build a "celibacy DAO cathedral" in the metaverse, enshrining Vitalik Buterin's early single-life code
4.$HODLER
5i3WMss2Ldnkw3CnrBoGrkPiVwpAKuGoHULPdbaxpump
Holding over 1 week unlocks "time-capsule NFTs" containing alleged Satoshi Nakamoto private key fragments
Sister token HODLERETTE enforces "Proof of Loyalty (PoL)": Seller addresses are permanently marked as "traitors" with 66.6% forced slippage
Suspicious accumulation detected in Bitfinex cold wallets
5.$SQUID
HN8GGgzBFvuePPL3DGPg7uuq2dVgLApnNcW4pxY9a11o
Death-game protocol based on Squid Game IP: Daily purge of 10% lowest-volume addresses ("Glass Bridge" elimination)
45% transaction tax funds Netflix ads for a customized Squid Game series, granting winners 456x leverage mining rights
Developers exposed for collaborating with North Korean Lazarus Group on anti-hacking systems
