I canāt help but think (and feel) that the world is generally very sad right now. Injured really.
Yesterday I was in Utah with family. Three generations. We played sports, enjoyed good food, saw friends, and just messed around all day. One of the best days in recent memory for all of us. This is where I grew up. It took me back to my childhood. Allowing me to embody those psychological states and feel the comparative difference between then and now.
The hollowing and sadness of the modern world seems to stem in part from our phones, social media, and the ferocious need to be seen and relevant in every moment. We have mistakenly idolized a specific kind of dysfunction: a manic, sleepless hyper-vigilance that needs to be omnipresent.
Everyone I know whoās unplugged for a week, returns reporting life-changing levels of improved life satisfaction. Iāve never met anyone who didnāt return feeling spry and vibrant and clear-eyed about the corrosive nature of current social culture. The science supports them feeling that way. They were in a dopamine deficit from the hyper-stimulated state of the world so everything felt gray.Ā
So why donāt we unplug more and more often? Weāre all kind of trapped in a prisoner's dilemma. Most want to move to the mountains and be relieved of it all but are terrified that if they unplug, theyāll be invisible. Real life consequences of reduced power and status. So we stay plugged in and drink the poison. This hypervigilant state keeps us in chronic fight or flight (anxiety). Simultaneously, our addiction creates a dopamine deficit (the emptiness/grayness feeling) and a background hum of anxiety.
Mammals are biologically hardwired to co-regulate: physical touch, eye contact, proximity and in-person vibes. Things which release oxytocin and activate the vagal nerve's parasympathetic system. Screens eliminate all of this goodness.
There are small wins to be had here. More in-person time. A day off technology per week. A block of 4 hours. One hour before bedtime.Ā I hope that thereās a collective awakening that weāre all being mined for engagement. Then we get trapped. And then trap each other.
